very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Randomize
