evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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