the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
