I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
