they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
