dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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