So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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