I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
