Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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