yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
