apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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