we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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