He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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