There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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