I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
