He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
