Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
