Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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