You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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