if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Someone shit on the floor
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
