I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
