She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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