she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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