This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
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