based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
