playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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