Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
