Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
