Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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