YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
