Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize