I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
