he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
