I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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