i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
