oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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