My room smells like vodka and shame
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
