Even water is tasting like jack daniels
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
