Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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