Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
