So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
There are leaves in my underwear?
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