Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I fill condoms, not promises.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
