Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
