I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
