It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
