Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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