So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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