Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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