I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
