That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
