I hope mine doesn't look like that
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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