Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize