at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
This toilet bowl is my home.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
